Take Me Back?

You guys know what ‘unconditional’ means? It’s one of those words that gives you the definition right in its letter layout. But I looked it up anyway to give you a synonym (you’re welcome); Absolute. And I like that so much! We’ve all heard the term ‘unconditional love’ tossed around, sung in catchy ballads, written in embossed script across purchased greeting cards. But it took me until age 21, living in Brooklyn, having no earthly idea how to choose friends or discern any kind of positive choice from a quick downhill slide to actually find a full understanding. My years were messy, a blend of mistakes and lessons learned late. Crying in my kitchen, confessing infractions to my brother, I first learned what those words actually mean.

‘That’s what unconditional love is, Leah. It’s ‘I love you. And you’re making bad choices. And I still love you.’’

There’s a part in all of us that will trigger when we make a move we’re not thrilled about; ‘Will they still like me?’ ‘Can I even go back now?’ ‘Is it too late? I’ve ruined it?’

I haven’t been to the studio in the way I like to be. 4-5 times a week is Optimum Prime for me and, admittedly, Loyal Readers, it’s been much less. I could go into a myriad of reasons why, but the end result doesn’t change; I don’t feel as strong, I don’t feel as balanced, and, quite frankly, I don’t feel as positive. But let me tell you something. I stepped into the studio last week and was welcomed so genuinely be the WVPY staff, most of my guilt dissipated right then and there by the merchandise station. My stubborn self, though, persisted in sitting in a little shame/comparison/hard-knock unworthiness. And then. Class started. Know what happened? Yoga took me back. She didn’t even think twice about it. She didn’t even think once! She let me fall right back in, whether I was hitting that pose or wasn’t. She put her arm around me and welcomed me back in. Unconditionally. With absolute assuredness.

It will always be like that, Guys. Yoga will take you back before you even think to ask. And, while we’re at it, you will always have the opportunity to take yourself back, as well.

-Leah Biesack